Love Potion Number 9
by DarkInu418
Summary: Rachel tries to win Finn back by slipping a true love potion into his drink. It's too bad that she puts it in the wrong one. "She felt faint as she came to the only solid conclusion to all of this. She turned Quinn Fabray into a man." Rated M just to be on the safe side.
1. True Love

(A/N Hello I'm back with a new story. For those of you patiently waiting on an update of Holding Out For A Hero don't worry I'm currently in the middle of writing Chapter 5 and will not be abandoning it. I just wanted to write something different to take my mind off of school. I got the idea for this story by watching LallyintheSky's YouTube video Make A Wish. Check it out when you have the time because it is a really good Faberry video. One of my favorites and there is also a fanfiction if you want to check that out too. Now this story has the same premise but it's a lot different just trust me.

I really wanted to write a fun romantic comedy and I hope I can capture that in this story. Please feel free to let me know what you think or if you have any ideas. Now enjoy Chapter 1.)

Love Potion #9

 **Chapter 1: True Love**

Rachel Berry was a lot of things, talented, smart, generous, but above all else she was determined. It was her determination that helped the New Directions win their first Regionals title and helped her write her first good original song that she can look back on in her memoir when she is rich and famous.

So it was with that same determination that she plotted on a way to win back the heart of one Finn Hudson. Sure things ended badly between them but she couldn't see how he could get back together with Quinn of all people and not her.

' _She slept with his best friend and got pregnant by him. That's like 100 times worse than kissing him._ ' Rachel thought as she went through her attic.

Her fathers, not understanding how important her plotting was, decided to make her clean the attic as a form of punishment. Her fathers weren't too happy with the 'Rachel Berry House Party Train-Wreck Extravaganza' especially when her Daddy found out that they drank his fine aged whiskey that he only drank on special occasions because it cost so much. (He made sure to drill that into her head.) So that was why she was spending her Saturday morning of spring break cleaning out the attic.

"Argh…If only I never asked her if they were dating." She groaned in exhaust as she threw another sequin scarf into the keep pile. Hey you never know. "At least when they were keeping it a secret, I didn't have to have their relationship thrown in my face."

She kicked a stool in irritation and instantly regretted it when the box on top of it came falling down, spilling its contents all over the floor. Rachel pinched the bridge of her nose in frustration. "I've so had it. This better be the end of my punishment. I didn't even get the chance to drink the damn whiskey." She muttered to herself.

As she was cleaning up her mess, she noticed an old tattered looking book. It was pretty dusty and looked to be well over a hundred years old. Curiously she picked up the book and wiped the dust off of the cover.

Her eyebrows raised in confusion. "The book of potions." She said out loud, wondering why on Earth her fathers have a supposed potion book in their possession.

She opened the cover carefully, so as to not rip the pages, and read the little dedication.

 _Let this book be a testament to our power and strength as a coven and be passed down from generation to generation. Hopefully you find these recipes as helpful as we did._

' _Hmmm…well that's strange, there's nothing else written. So are they witches or are they talking about food?_ ' Rachel wondered, getting an uneasy feeling in her stomach. There was a part of her that knew that this wasn't right and she should put the book back where it belonged, but a smaller, and admittedly more vocal, part of her was curious. "Well it wouldn't hurt to just look at it?"

So with that she sat down on the floor and flipped through the book. As soon as she read, 'Silent Death' and the ingredients that followed, she knew that this was a spell book of some sort. It was a little surprising considering neither of her fathers ever mentioned having a witch in their family. Though in their defense it's not the kind of conversation you have at the dinner table.

Some of the potions sounded downright scary and she felt queasy at the number of animal organs required to create one of them. Other potions seemed pretty tame like a potion that allows you to have sleek hair or as a form of birth control.

As she continued flipping through the pages, one caught her eye and she slowly flipped back. "True Love." She whispered as she read what the potion was supposed to do.

" _True Love is designed to help the drinker realize who they are destined to be with…"_

That was about how much she read before she turned to the ingredients list and was pleasantly surprised that no animal parts are required for this.

Was she really that desperate to win back Finn that she would knowingly slip him a love potion? She'd drink it herself but she already knew that her and Finn were meant to be together and he would still be with Quinn.

She had to find a way to get Quinn out of the picture and have Finn realize that she should have been his all along.

Besides this potion seemed completely harmless. It was called 'True Love' and there was nothing bad about love.

* * *

It was been two days since Rachel decided to create a love potion. Since then her fathers left for two weeks for her Dad's conferences. She would have gone as well, but this was also a part of her punishment. So while they were living it up in Hawaii, she was stuck home alone in Lima with nothing to do.

That was until she discovered the potion book.

As soon as the taxi drove off, Rachel went to the store to acquire some of the ingredients. Other ingredients like blood of a virgin was already at her disposal (she had no problem giving her own blood for the cause).

She ended up spending the whole evening and morning creating the concoction. As soon as it was finished she bottled it up in a vial and stalked Facebook to see where Finn is currently (he had a habit of posting whatever he is up too).

That was what brought her there, at the Lima Bean coffee shop. Finn messaged Quinn on her wall (apparently, he didn't like private messaging or texting) that they should meet up today at the coffee shop. She commented back and agreed on a time.

That was why Rachel showed up 20 minutes before said time so that she can intercept them. She sat in a secluded corner of the building, but made sure to be facing the door. Her plan was to find a way to spike the coffee without either of them knowing.

She hoped that this plan would work because she wasn't sure how many chances she could get over break. Quinn always kept a tight leash on Finn. They always seemed glued at the hip.

The bell chimed and Rachel saw Finn walk in. She smiled deviously when she realized that Quinn wasn't with him. He made his way to the counter to place his order.

The brunette took a swig of her vegan latte and stood up, making her way over to Finn. She tossed her drink in the garbage on her way. She didn't want to seem suspicious.

He was just finishing telling the guy his order as she walked up to him. "Finn, how are you doing?" She tried to sound casual and smirked triumphantly when he turned and smiled goofily at her.

"Rachel, it's good to see you even though I just saw you last week." He said. "Hey, what would you like? My treat."

If anything, Rachel's smile widened further. ' _This is why we are perfect together. He's such a gentleman always buying my drinks._ ' She gave the barista her order and thanked Finn.

"So no Quinn today?" She asked innocently.

The barista handed them their drinks, she enviously noticed that Finn also got Quinn her drink as well, and they walked over to a table. "No I'm supposed to be meeting her here. She must have gotten held up in traffic." He shrugged his shoulders but didn't take a seat.

He set the two drinks on the table. "Hey I gotta go to the bathroom, mind watching my drink?"

Oh my god, this was too good to be true. Finn was literally handing her a golden ticket to the chocolate factory here. She tried not to sound too excited when she answered him because that would be weird. "Yeah sure, no problem."

Finn gave her another one of his goofy smiles and then headed off to the bathroom. Rachel made sure that he was gone and looked around to make sure that Quinn didn't show up. That would totally ruin her plan.

Happy that neither was going to come over, she reached into her pocket and pulled out the vial. She set it on the table and brought the two coffees over to her. She frowned when she noticed that the barista didn't write a name on either cup. She silently cursed her luck.

' _No matter I've dated Finn I know what he drinks._ ' She thought to herself, but then a sudden thought occurred. She never bought his coffee. In fact when they were dating, she would give him her coffee order and then find a seat for them while he went to get the beverages. He always left the lid on.

She took the lids off both of the cups and looked to see inside. In one cup was just plain black coffee, and in the other was a latte with whip cream melting and what smelled like a ton of caramel. One was probably super bitter while the other was really sweet. She winced at the cavities that they were bound to have.

' _I didn't think that Finn drank his coffee black, but he can't be drinking the latte. It's a little too girly and he's not allowed to eat sweets because it gives him a toothache. Besides he could add sugar to the coffee._ ' She tried to figure out which coffee was which.

Time was running out and she had to pick one or else her opportunity will be wasted.

Making up her mind she opened the vial and poured the contents into the coffee and put the lids back on. She put the empty vial back in her pocket and hoped that the potion won't leave a funny taste in his mouth.

As soon as she placed the lids back on the drinks the bell chimed again and she saw Quinn walk through the door. She was in her usual baby doll dress and her long blonde hair was falling down her back in loose curls.

Rachel always was super envious of Quinn's natural beauty. It just wasn't fair how stunning she looked every single day.

The blonde spotted Rachel and seemed to be internally debating whether or not to come over to her. They made eye contact and she saw her sigh before making her way over.

"Quinn, how are you?" She greeted with a forced smile. She still wasn't happy with their last one on one encounter. The nerve of her to say those things. She'll show her when Finn is hers.

"Fine." The blonde replied, not bothering to ask her how she was doing. Quinn was always so infuriating. "Have you seen Finn?"

"He went to the bathroom but he asked me to watch your drinks." Rachel said, motioning to the two beverages.

"I'm sure you practically jumped at the opportunity." She remarked, picking up one of the drinks and smelling it. The blonde made a face and set the drink down, and then she took the other one.

She was about to take a drink when Finn showed up. Quinn smiled sweetly at him and he lightly kissed her on the lips.

Rachel was trying not to glare daggers at them but she couldn't really stop herself. She was not okay with this.

They pulled apart and Finn grabbed his drink. Rachel was staring at the drink in his hand intently. "I got your usual I hope you don't mind?"

"No not at all. Thank you." The blonde said, gratefully taking a drink. She glanced slightly at Rachel. "Should we be leaving?"

"We can hang out with Rachel for a bit before we head out." Finn said, looking at her and completely missing the look of distaste cross his girlfriend's face. "You don't mind, Rach?"

' _Well I rather it be just you and not your extremely bitchy girlfriend, but beggars can't be choosers._ ' She plastered a fake smile on her face. "Of course I don't mind."

They took their seats and Finn struck up a conversation with Rachel while Quinn glared at them, taking sips from her cup.

All the while he hasn't taken one sip from his drink and Rachel was only hearing bits and pieces of what he was saying because she was starring so intently at it. ' _Drink dammit, I don't have all day. Drink and profess your love to me and we'll ride off into the sunset together, leaving Quinn here all alone._ '

After what seemed like forever, Finn took a long drink from his cup. He pulled the cup away and winced in pain. Oh no was the potion painful? Did she mess something up?

"It's your own fault for putting all that caramel in there. You're just asking for a trip to the dentist." Quinn remarked as she took another sip from her drink.

Rachel's eyes widened in horror as the couple continued talking, paying her no mind.

"I can't help it. At least I actually try to make mine taste better." Finn was now holding his jaw and rubbing it soothingly.

"I hate sweets." Quinn said and the couple left it at that. Clearly this was a conversation that they have had before.

Meanwhile Rachel was slowly starting to freak out as Quinn took another drink out of her black coffee. The coffee she put the potion in. The True Love potion that Quinn was drinking and not Finn. ' _What am I going to do? If Quinn finds out, she will kill me. Or she'll get Santana to do it and they'll hide my body and no one will ever find me and I'll never become a successful actress on Broadway._ '

She was brought out of her internal panic attack by Finn's voice. She had no clue how long she was out of it. "Quinn, you don't look so good. Are you okay?"

The brunette looked over to the blonde who looked really pale and was starting to shake. "Not really. It must have just come over me."

She stood up on shaky legs and Finn was about to get up too but Quinn stopped him. "It must be some kind of food poisoning. I'm going to head home."

"Do you want me to come by later?"

"I don't think I'll be up for that. Talk to you later."

She left the store and Rachel watched her leave, her concern doubling. Did she screw something up and created a poison instead? Maybe she was having an allergic reaction to one of the ingredients?

She waited a minute before she addressed Finn, who also looked concerned. "I should be going too. I have dance practice." She lied.

Finn seemed to have bought her excuse and told her to have a good day. As she was leaving, she heard him swear in pain. He must have taken another drink.

She knew that Quinn preferred to drive places instead of walking so she made her way to the parking lot. The blonde was at her car door and looked terrible. Just as she was opening the door, she collapsed against the car.

Panic coursed through her veins as she ran over to her. If something happened to Quinn then this would be her fault and she could get into some serious trouble. As much as she didn't like the blonde, she also didn't want any harm to befall her.

"Quinn, are you okay?" That was a stupid question.

The blonde tried to shrug her off but it seemed to be too much energy. "Berry, I'm fine. Leave me alone."

Rachel was about to reply when suddenly Quinn passed out and started to fall. She quickly grabbed the blonde before she fell on the ground. Her head rolled to the crook of her neck.

"Oh Barbara this isn't good. What am I going to do?" She held Quinn up with one arm and felt for a pulse in her neck. She was a little surprised to feel a very strong pulse. It seemed completely normal.

' _Maybe it's the potion's way of working._ ' It's not like she was an expert of witchcraft and she was cursing herself for not reading more on what this potion did. _'She could just need to sleep it off._ '

She saw the blonde's car keys on the seat and made a decision. She couldn't afford to get in trouble again and if Quinn just needed some rest then why stir things up when it doesn't need to be.

The brunette decided to take Quinn back to her place and monitor her. If her health was starting to decline then she'll call an ambulance, but until then she wanted to try avoiding unnecessary difficulties. Besides it wasn't like she could tell a doctor what she did. They would call the police on her.

So with that Rachel opened up the backseat and laid the blonde across the seat, then she got in the driver's seat and drove off without anyone the wiser.

* * *

She literally just got home and carried Quinn over to her couch when the blonde started screaming in agony.

At the time Rachel was in the other room making a sandwich, but at the sound of the screams, she ran over to her living room.

Quinn looked deathly pale and was sweating profusely. She was writhing on the couch in pain, but it seemed like she was still unconscious.

' _I should have taken her straight to the emergency room. That's what I get for trying to sweep this under the rug._ ' She thought to herself as she made her way over.

Just as she was about to reach Quinn, a blinding flash of blue light emerged from her body, momentarily blinding her. She brought her hands up to her face and waited for the light to go away.

Quinn stopped screaming and she was starting to fear the worst. She's too young to go to prison. She'll be honest someone would make her their bitch. She's too delicate.

The light went away and the brunette brought her hands down. She waited for her eyes to get used to her surroundings and once they did she looked for Quinn.

Her eyes bulged out and her eyebrows shot to her hairline as she gaped at what she was seeing.

On her couch was a teenage boy with long blonde hair and he was wearing the exact dress that Quinn was wearing not even a minute ago.

She felt faint as she came to the only solid conclusion to all of this.

She turned Quinn Fabray into a man.

(A/N Yes this is another story. Before you all ask yes I will be finishing Holding Out For A Hero and will be getting back to it. Currently I'm in the middle of chapter 5, but this plot bunny has been bugging me for a while now and I really wanted to write it. This is a twist on the gender bender stories and I hope to try and make this one funnier than my previous stories. Clearly it is AU and a little on the crackish side of things. I don't plan on this being very long but you never know.

This takes place in season 2 right after Original Song but before Night of Neglect. There was a hiatus that the show took so I decided that that was spring break. I'm leaning on this being Faberry, but I'm also torn on it being Quinntana. Let me know.

Also please read and review. Let me know what you think and what you would like to see. As for what Quinn will look like as a man I'm thinking of Westley from The Princess Bride. I've been looking at other guys but for some reason this one just clicks for me. Let me know if you have other suggestions.)


	2. So The Freak Out Begins

Last Time On Love Potion Number 9:

 _The light went away and the brunette brought her hands down. She waited for her eyes to get used to her surroundings and once they did she looked for Quinn._

 _Her eyes bulged out and her eyebrows shot to her hairline as she gaped at what she was seeing._

 _On her couch was a teenage boy with long blonde hair and he was wearing the exact dress that Quinn was wearing not even a minute ago._

 _She felt faint as she came to the only solid conclusion to all of this._

 _She turned Quinn Fabray into a man._

 **Chapter 2: So The Freak Out Begins**

"Oh my Barbara!" She shrieked as she looked at the once female form of her adversary in romance. ' _What in the world happened!?_ '

It had to be Quinn, but at the same time it certainly wasn't! She….he….Quinn was still lying passed out on the couch and was actually looking a lot healthier than earlier. There was some color to the blonde's cheeks. So that was a plus.

"Well besides the fact that she became a man, she's the spitting image of health." She muttered darkly to herself. There was no way that she wanted to wake her….him….Quinn up before she had a handle on the situation.

She gripped her hair tightly on top of her head. The only problem is that she really doesn't have the situation under control. If she doesn't figure this out then Quinn will kill her.

Another thought seemed to cross her mind as she was slowly starting to hyperventilate. ' _Maybe this is all in my head. Yeah maybe I'm asleep and this is just some horrible dream._ ' She started nodding her head in agreement with her thoughts. ' _Yes I'm sure that if I went over to Quinn and touched her….him…Dammit I don't know how to address her…him…Gah!…in the face then they'll disappear._ '

Looking wearily at the blonde, who looked really uncomfortable in the now super tight and drastically shorter dress, she made her way over to them. (She gives up trying to address Quinn by anything other than their name; her mind is already on the fritz.)

As she looked down at the blonde she was a little surprised to see just how attractive Quinn is as a man. It still looked like the blonde, but where soft features were supposed to be there were hard lines instead and a strong jaw. It was like a cross between that superhero Hemsworth brother (She never could get their names right.) and Westley from _the Princess Bride_ (That was her all-time favorite movie that wasn't a musical.). ' _It's really not fair. She's gorgeous as a female and now as a man he's breathtaking. Arrgg…it's not right. What are Fabray genes really made of, fairy dust?_ '

Shaking her head from her thoughts the brunette got right back to the matter at hand. Proving that this was all some horrible dream and she'll wake up at any minute.

Slowly she reached out and ever so gently poked Quinn in the cheek. The blonde grunted (It sounded really deep, definitely not a feminine sound) and tried to swat the annoying hand away.

Instantly Rachel pulled her hand away and felt her panic start to come back in full force. This is really happening.

Quinn's a man.

Quinn's a man and she will surely strangle her with those manly hands. (The irony wasn't lost on her. If she wasn't so scared of dying then she would tease Quinn when she/he woke up.)

The brunette crept away from the slumbering blonde and tried to form a plan. ' _Okay so this is not something I can take on, on my own. I'm going to need help. Plus if Quinn does kill me then there will be a witness. So there's that._ '

She went into the other room and grabbed her cellphone and dialed the number of the one person that she could trust. (More like the one person that can tolerate her but who's that technical.)

The phone went to voicemail a few times and just as she was on her 20th call someone answered on the other line. "This better be important Rachel, I'm in the middle of moisturizing." Kurt Hummel said on the other line of the phone. She heard giggling in the background and figured that he was doing anything other than keeping up with his hygiene.

"Well I really hope Blaine gets those hard to reach places." She dryly remarked.

His breath hitched and she smirked. "You have 3 seconds to tell me what you want or I'm hanging up."

"I need your help."

"That's not a good enough excuse." Kurt said and he sounded annoyed. "Bye Rachel."

Just as he was about to hang up the brunette tried to get his attention back. "Wait! Wait! Don't go! This is an emergency."

Her shrill voice and the urgency must have caught his attention. "What's going on?" His nosiness was outweighing his desire to make out with his boyfriend and thank god for that. Well not for Blaine, that seemed unfortunate for him. "Who stole your solo this time?"

She had to fight the urge to scream at him because she needed him. "This isn't about the glee club." She responded still conveying a sense of urgency. "I can't say it over the phone."

Now she knew that she really caught his interest. "How bad are we talking here?"

"Like someone robbing Barbara of her Tony bad." They never joked about their love of all things Barbara Streisand so Kurt knew she meant business.

"I'll be over in 15." Was his short reply.

"Good and come alone." She hung up her phone and tried taking deep breaths. ' _This is all going to work out in the end._ ' She repeated over and over, hoping if she says it enough then it will come true.

* * *

Kurt made it over in record time and quickly entered her home. His lips were a little swollen still, but he refused to tell her what he was up too even though she had a sneaking suspicion.

His eyebrows shot up when he saw Quinn lying on the couch. "I'm not one to judge but you do know that there is a drag queen on your couch. I'm assuming this is the emergency?" He leaned over and got a good look at the face. "He's pretty cute."

Rachel wrung her hands together as she looked nervously at Kurt. "Yes but it's a bit more complicated than that."

She led him over to her kitchen and they sat down at the table. It was silent between the two as Kurt glanced into the living room every now and then, and Rachel tried to summon up the courage to speak.

"So you know that Finn's back together with Quinn right?" She asked trying to work her way to the truth and not sound like she is insane.

He rolled his eyes in exasperation. "Unfortunately. Everyone in the house can hear them arguing."

She tried not to let the excitement of this news cloud her mind (I knew they were terrible together) and pressed forward. "Anyway I've haven't been taking the news well." Even she knew that that was the understatement of the year. "So I devised a plan to win back Finn's heart."

Before she could go on Kurt grabbed her hand and interrupted her. "Rachel you need to move on. There's more to life than Finn." He pulled his hand away and looked at her sympathetically. "I honestly don't understand how he keeps convincing you and Quinn to keep dating him. It's like an endless merry go round."

' _Now he's starting to sound like Quinn._ ' She pursed her lips in distaste, but didn't say anything because she had bigger problems.

She stood up and went to the counter to retrieve the potion book. "Before you rudely interrupt me again let me finish the story." Rachel pretended that she didn't see him rolling his eyes and took a seat, placing the book between them. "While I was cleaning the attic I came across this spell book."

Kurt's eyes widened in disbelief, already figuring out where this going. "You decided to slip a potion to him. I'm not even going to comment on how insane you sound."

She took that as her cue to continue. "There was a slight problem. He bought Quinn a drink too and I had no idea which one was which so I picked one." He looked at her intently and she met his eyes conveying how serious she was. "I chose wrong."

"So where is she now?" He knew that he shouldn't have answered the damn phone. Now he was getting caught up in Rachel's schemes again. She really was a little too crazy for him.

"In the other room." She pointed in the direction of the living room.

"No, the only person I saw was the drag queen." Kurt replied in confusion. He could have been wrapped up in Blaine's arms but instead he had to humor Rachel. She really needed to get out more.

Rachel started fidgeting nervously in her seat. "The drag queen is Quinn." She looked into his eyes completely serious. "The potion turned her into a man."

He started laughing at her. Honestly he couldn't help himself, this had to be some sort of weird joke, but then he looked back at Rachel and noticed that she was stilling looking super grim. Like someone told her that she can only have one solo a week. "Oh my god you really believe this."

"I saw it with my own eyes. Quinn turned into a man and she is going to murder me." Rachel's voice was starting to sound hysterical.

"Calm down for a second. Don't freak out." He held his arms up cautiously like she was some kind of wild animal. It took her a few minutes to get her emotions under control but once she did Kurt started talking again. "So let me humor you for a minute and say that I actually believe you. What made you believe that you turned Quinn Fabray into a man?"

Rachel went to explain what happened after Quinn ingested the potion and Kurt listened intently. To be honest the story seemed a little farfetched to him especially the bright light that apparently 'transformed' Quinn. A little too beauty and the beast for his tastes. He didn't even believe in God, let alone magic potions that can change your gender.

Then he asked the question of the hour. "Was that what the potion was supposed to do?"

She opened her mouth to reply but then she stopped herself. She looked thoughtful for a moment. "You know I'm not quite sure."

"What do you mean you're not quite sure?" He demanded mimicking her voice to prove a point.

The brunette felt the blood rush to her cheeks as she realized a huge error in her plan. "I never actually read what the potion was supposed to do."

Kurt just stared at her in disbelief, wondering how on Earth he managed to score Rachel Berry as his best friend. He loved the girl, but at times like these this was too much. "So you mean to tell me that you willingly created a potion and willingly poured it into some else's drink, but you have no idea what it does or how dangerous it could be. This is insane even for someone as drama queenish as you."

She scowled at him, not really a fan of his tone. "Look I know that I screwed up. I should have known better."

"Well, where's the page that shows what it does?"

They opened the book and Rachel found the page for True Love's potion. Together they read what the potion is supposed to do.

 _True Love is designed to help the drinker realize who they are destined to be with by changing them into the opposite sex and having them seek out the one that can love them for who they are and not what they look like. In order to reverse the spell, the inflicted has to have true love's kiss or they will remain stuck as that gender forever more._

"Rachel it says what it does in the first sentence!" Kurt exclaimed rereading the passage again. "How did you miss it?"

"To be honest all I saw was true love and destined. I kind of skipped the rest of it." She replied guiltily. She can't help it if her mind just zeroes in on certain words. She has a laser focus attention span.

Kurt glanced at the ingredients and blanched. "This requires blood of a virgin! How the hell did you think using blood would make this a harmless potion?" She can't be that naïve? To be fair though, this is Rachel Berry were talking about here; who let him turn her into a sad clown hooker.

"I didn't think that a potion called True Love would be bad." Rachel tried to explain her reasoning but even she knew that this was more or less one of her worst ideas ever. Even sending a girl to a crack house doesn't top this. ' _Maybe I should reevaluate my plans a little better. Have PowerPoints of PowerPoints._ '

"Magic always comes with a price. Especially magic that requires blood." Kurt said trying to keep himself from shouting. He was still on the fence about this whole thing, but if Rachel was telling the truth (As if) then he really needs to start questioning her ability to think logically. If she wasn't then he needs to get her committed or take her to a spa to relax. He did need a touch up on his nails.

"Kurt this isn't some fairy tale that has dire consequences and a life lesson at the end of the story. This is real life we're talking about."

This day honestly couldn't get any weirder. He just couldn't understand why Rachel would resort to magic to get his stepbrother back. How on Earth was that going to end well? "You were going to give it to Finn. You were planning on turning him into a girl."

Rachel shook her head miserably. "I didn't know what it would do."

He reread the passage and noticed something that they might have overlooked. "Since you didn't bother to read the whole paragraph Quinn's going to be stuck as a man forever."

The brunette looked confused and looked the page over, studying it carefully. "No it says that true love's kiss will reverse the effects."

"Do you honestly think that you can find true love as a teenager in Lima, Ohio?" He asked rhetorically not really waiting for an answer. He looked up towards the ceiling and waved his arm across his body and said dramatically. "Lima, Ohio where hopes and dreams come to die."

Rachel didn't bother to indulge in his theory because this was her pity party not his. "Well Quinn has to find true love and break the spell, or I just bought my ticket to my untimely demise."

Kurt waved her off. "Let's be real here Rachel. If you're telling the truth and that really is Quinn Fabray then she's going to do more than just kill you." Rachel gulped as he leaned back in his chair and listed off examples on his hand. "She'll definitely maim and torture you first, and then she might strangle you a little bit. After that she'll call Santana and then she'll maim and torture you all the while calling you colorful names like Hobbit or short stack." Rachel was starting to feel really queasy all of a sudden. Why isn't a window open? "I always imagined that Santana has a personal torture chamber for occasions like this. I bet you anything that she would…"

Rachel slammed her head on the table in defeat as Kurt kept listing off all the colorful ways that Quinn (and Santana) was going to kill her. She'll give him an A+ for being imaginative.

(A/N Thank you all for the reviews. They really are a motivation to keep writing so thank you. I was surprised at how fast the comments kept coming and it was only the first day. Yeah I know it's pretty short but I wanted to pump out another chapter before I got started with all my homework. (My priorities are downright horrible sometimes.) To ease all your minds yes this is going to be Faberry. There might be a little Quinntana on the side for plot purposes but the endgame is Faberry.

Special thank you to the guest that pointed out that Dianna Agron has a brother. I wasn't aware that she had one and on a side note he's cute too. So if you want to picture what Quinn would look like as a man then google her brother. For story purposes though I can't just say 'Hey she looks like some actresses brother' so Rachel will think that Quinn resembles a cross between Chris Hemsworth and Westley from the Princess Bride. I'm not one to kill imagination so if you think someone looks better than those choices then picture that.

Now you all know what the potion does. So this should be interesting for Quinn when she (now a he) finally wakes up. Let's be honest she will not be taking the news very well when she wakes up in the next chapter. Please keep reading and reviewing.)


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